The Drama Never Seems to End…

The Consequences of Getting Involved with a Sociopath/Narcissist

August was a busy month and early indicators tell me that the rest of fall will be just as busy, but I’ll update my blog to describe the fun summer I had dealing with my self-obsessed former husband and his equally self-obsessed family.

I already mentioned in my post from July 15 that my former sister-in-law had taken my son across state lines without notifying me.

For the first week that my son, who I’ll call “Happy Boy”, was with Clyde in *Mordor*, Sweet Girl was allowed to briefly speak with him once. After that, our phone calls were never answered and emails were never returned. In Clyde’s letter requesting his summer visitation dates, Clyde tried to paint the picture that he had the entire five weeks off from work (which anyone who lives in ‘Adult Land’ knows vacation time is usually 2 weeks at the most); however, his sister let it slip that Clyde had to be back to work on the following Monday and according to our divorce decree, we have let the other parent know who is watching our kids.

Of course, Clyde never did this. When I asked who would be watching Happy Boy, Clyde wouldn’t respond which made it seem like Clyde was hiding something. Clyde’s been known to leave our kids alone in the past and Happy Boy has autism. This is the first time Happy Boy has spent an extended period with Clyde without Sweet Girl around to help out.

I asked the local police department if they could do a welfare check to make sure Happy Boy wasn’t left alone. When they got to Clyde’s house, they said BlahBlah was there with Happy Boy. I asked if they would let me speak with my son and the officer said that BlahBlah didn’t want me contacting her phone unless it was an emergency.

That incident was followed by more lies. When I brought it up to Clyde in an email, BlahBlah & Clyde quickly changed their stories and said that BlahBlah never told the officer I couldn’t call.
(I recorded the call with the officer)

Communication with Happy Boy while he was in *Mordor* was usually restricted to one day per week, and the calls we were allowed were generally less than five minutes in duration – including the calls on Happy Boy’s birthday.

Our divorce papers state if one parent is unavailable, the other parent can act as a surrogate caregiver during the time the parent is unavailable. Sweet Girl and I arrived in *Mordor* a few days before Clyde’s time with the kids officially ended, so I told Clyde I’d be taking Happy Boy while he was at work on Saturday. As soon as I said that, Clyde suddenly recalled that he didn’t have to work Saturday after all.
He “forgot” again.
(do you see the reoccurring theme here?)

The next morning (Friday), I tried contacting Clyde with no answer. I then sent a text message to BlahBlah, asking her to have Happy Boy call me. BlahBlah said Happy Boy was with Clyde’s mom that day, so I called Clyde’s mom. No answer.

I sent Clyde’s mother a text message and told her we would be taking Happy Boy while Clyde was at work. We’d be there at 10am. Again, no response so I called twice more. Still nothing.

Sweet Girl and I drove to Clyde’s mother’s house 30 miles away. Sweet Girl went to the door and knocked. Only the screen door was closed so we could see and hear everything inside the house. Clyde’s mother was screaming on the phone, “They’re already here! What do I do?!” Clyde’s sister ran downstairs and shouted in a loud whisper “They’re here! Hide Happy Boy!” Then Clyde’s mother came outside. She said she had to go to work and Clyde was already on his way to pick up Happy Boy.

Really people? Is this circus necessary to see my own child after five weeks?

So I said, “Well, Clyde’s not here now so please send my son out.” 30 minutes later and they still refused. When Sweet Girl went to the door a second time, they slammed it in her face. That’s when I threatened to go to the police. Clyde finally called my phone and said he’d taken half the day off from work. I told him that was fine but his mother said he was already on the freeway. I asked where he was now (because I could hear work chatter in the background). He admitted he was still at work but would be off at noon. I told him then Happy Boy would be returned to him at noon. In the meantime, he needed to follow the rules outlined in our divorce and tell his family to send Happy Boy outside.

Furious and reluctant, Clyde’s family finally sent Happy Boy out to the curb. He was beyond excited to see his sister after a month, which seemed to only infuriate Clyde’s family more.

And even after refusing to allow Sweet Girl access to her own brother, Hedra still had the nerve to walk up to Sweet Girl and ask her for a hug. There hadn’t been so much as a phone call to see how Sweet Girl was doing after the airport incident. Sweet Girl said it was so bizarre, like Hedra felt she’d done nothing wrong. I have to say I was quite proud that Sweet Girl politely refused and told Hedra she wasn’t comfortable hugging her at that moment. Hedra scowled and flipped her hair around with complete attitude, then huffed away.

It shouldn’t be surprising to know that this isn’t the first time that Clyde’s family has meddled in other people’s custodial matters. Again, it’s all about “winning” with that family. Completely irrational. They also seem to not understand how ANYONE could possibly be upset with them or not like them after they behave so poorly. They’re never to blame.

Sweet Girl was still reluctant to go to Clyde’s house for the final few days in *Mordor* so I told Clyde he needed to come pick her up. Of course, he never did. Even though Clyde cries wolf to anyone that will listen, I personally believe he doesn’t want Sweet Girl around because:

  • Sweet girl can and will tell the truth about him now, and that could cause certain people to start second-guessing Clyde’s motives.
  • Clyde’s still furious with Sweet Girl and her new-found independence. He feels like she’s “betrayed” him (he’s actually said this to her).
  • He needs something to support his claims that he’s a “victim”.

Clyde then made a feeble attempt asking Sweet Girl if she wanted to go to the zoo with them by sending her a text on our iPod… an application that I’ve already stated (multiple times) isn’t always turned on. Again, it’s all about plausible deniability and keeping up appearances. From the outside, it looks like Clyde’s trying to contact Sweet Girl; however, in reality, he knew the likelihood was that Sweet Girl wouldn’t receive the message until it was too late.

There wasn’t any fighting or drama over that incident so then Clyde sent me a message saying that he’s changed his mind and he’s not dropping off Happy Boy until after our agreed exchange time. At first, I was upset… but then I remembered who I was dealing with and what his true motivation was.
I told him that was fine but I still have to leave as scheduled; therefore, if that’s his decision, he’d have to drive or fly our kids the 1,000 miles back home.
Faced with that, he immediately came at me with “No, they’ll be there at 9am as agreed.”
I replied, “No, it’s fine. You can even keep them an additional 2 days. Just make sure they’re back home by Tuesday or Happy Boy will miss his appointment and be put back on the wait-list.”
He wrote back, “They’ll be there at 9am. If you’re not there, Happy Boy will not make his appointment. I will NOT be driving them back to *Narnia*.”

(Yes, I admit I smile & giggle when his manipulation tactics backfire)

Believe it or not, I actually think BlahBlah is a good person, or I hope she is anyway. I know Clyde attracts those who are emotionally unstable, but he also attracts the “fixer” and “nurturing” types. Regardless, Happy Boy is probably safer with BlahBlah than with Clyde or his family. I just get upset over how BlahBlah treats me and how she gets involved in our parenting matters, especially when she barely knows our children and has never even spoken with me. I just can’t fathom doing that if roles were reversed.

Anyway, after the insane summer of trying to keep Happy Boy isolated from us and violating several provisions of our decree, Clyde ironically requested a contempt hearing. I’ve been told the judge isn’t very happy over this request so I hope it works out in my favor, but we’ll see. I’ve become very leery of our family courts, but my hope is that they find Clyde at least partly liable. Clyde’s a sore loser and the minute he’s held accountable for any of his actions, he won’t want to “play” anymore and he’ll go pout in the corner like a child.

For now, we’re back to home safe home… Crazy schedules, school meetings, and doctor appointments.

Which reminds me of one last lie:
Clyde was scheduled to take Happy Boy to the dentist to have a baby tooth extracted.
Acting like the neglectful parent I know and expected, Clyde never did follow through with this. When I asked why Happy Boy was never taken to the dentist, Clyde replied:

“He was taken to the dentist and they recommended that we let the tooth fall out on it’s own. When I inquired as to if we wanted it removed anyway, the date for the extraction would have been after he went home.”

I asked for the dentist’s information and Happy Boy’s dental records.

I received notice that Clyde did in fact read my email the next day.

Now it’s 10 days later and still no response.

Wouldn’t know the truth if it spanked them in the badonkadonk.

1 Comment

  1. i’m sorry for what you’re going through narcissistic/sociopath’s suck! they make it all our fault. thank you for vising my site 🙂

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