Narcissist / Sociopath Translator

Common Clyde Phrases I’ve Decoded Over the Years:

PHRASE: “I’m telling the truth!”
“I swear on my kids’ lives.”
“I’m not lying.”
TRANSLATION: “I’m telling you what I think you want to hear.”

PHRASE: “I never said that.”
TRANSLATION: “Yeah, I said that but you can’t prove it.”

PHRASE: “You’re not going to believe me anyway so what difference does it make?”
TRANSLATION: “I know I’m caught so I’m going to turn it around to make you look like the unreasonable one.”

PHRASE: “I don’t remember that.”
“I forgot.”
“I didn’t know…”
“I knew exactly what I was doing/saying but there’s no way I’m letting you hold me accountable for it.”

PHRASE: “My boss was crazy.”
“My boss thought I was going to take over his job.”
“The contract was up.”
TRANSLATION: “I got fired because I came in late and took too many days off from work.”

PHRASE: “I miss you.”
“You’re my best friend.”
TRANSLATION: “No one else is paying attention to me.”
“I need something.”

PHRASE: “You’re lucky I’m still your friend.”
TRANSLATION: “I think I’m superior to you. I only keep you around because I need your admiration.”

PHRASE: “I’ll pay you next week.”
TRANSLATION: “I’m just trying to get you off my back. I’ll pay you whenever it’s convenient for me or when I can find someone else to pay it for me.”

PHRASE: “I’m just trying to be a good dad.”
TRANSLATION: “I know that being labeled a good father gets me attention; money; sympathy, and praise.”

PHRASE: “People think I’m funny but I’m actually just being mean.”
TRANSLATION: “You idiots still think I’m joking. I can play you all like fiddles.”

PHRASE: “I’m awesome.”
TRANSLATION: “I really do think I’m awesome.”

PHRASE: “Want me to call you a waaah-bulance?”
TRANSLATION: “I’m not going to let your injury take the spotlight away from me.”

PHRASE: “Shut up, you big baby.”
“You’re not allowed to voice your concerns or draw boundaries with me.”

PHRASE: “Settle down. God, can’t you take a joke?”
TRANSLATION: “Yes, I was intentionally being mean but you’ll never realize it if I make you feel guilty afterwards.”

PHRASE: “I think I remind her of her ex.”
“She’s just jealous and she’s trying to break us up.”
TRANSLATION: “She knows my secret so I have to make you think she has ulterior motives.”

PHRASE: “My ex-wife/ex-girlfriend cheated on me.”
TRANSLATION: “I’m upset that my ex was with another man even if we were no longer a couple, but I want you to think I’m the victim.”

PHRASE: “My ex-girlfriend was really controlling.”
TRANSLATION: “I was really controlling.”

PHRASE: “Monogamy”
TRANSLATION: “I can cheat but my partner can’t.”

PHRASE: “Lesbian.”
“If a girl isn’t attracted to me, it could only be because she’s gay.”

PHRASE: “I just want to come with you so I can help out.”
TRANSLATION: “I want to keep an eye on you and make sure you don’t realize that you can do this on your own.”

PHRASE: “I love you.”
“I really believe we were meant to be.”
“I’ve never had a connection with anyone else like I have with you.”
“I feel like you’re my soul mate.”
“Everyone can see that we should be together.”
TRANSLATION: “If I regurgitate lines from movies or repeat things others have said, I know you’ll overlook my abuse and stick around a bit longer.”

PHRASE: “I’m really trying to change.”
TRANSLATION: “I have no intentions of changing. I’m awesome. I just want your attention again.”

PHRASE: “I really am glad you’re happy.”
“I miss our friendship.”
“I would never try to come between you and ______, but…”
“I believe I can make you come back to me by making you think I genuinely care about your well-being.”

PHRASE: “I can’t get a job because I can’t stop thinking about the men you’ve had sex with.”
TRANSLATION: “I don’t want to find a job or go to work. I know you feel guilty about your past so I’m going to use it against you to shut you up.”

PHRASE: “It’s easy to kill someone and make it look like an accident.”
“There are a million ways to get rid of a body so it can never be found.”
“My brother’s a sharp-shooter and all it would take is for me to call in that favor.”
TRANSLATION: “I dare you to even try to go against me. See what happens.”

PHRASE: “Slut…”
“Get off your high horse…”
TRANSLATION: “I know you’re seeing through my act so I need to wear you down.”

PHRASE: “No one will ever accept you once they find out about your past.”
TRANSLATION: “I know you’re about to leave me. If I scare you into thinking you’ll be alone forever, I might buy myself some more time.”

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