Parasitic Ex’s Trail of Destruction
Pathological people leave the same trail of destruction. Nearly all of the survivors I’ve talked to exhibit the following symptoms and behaviors:
- Questioning their own sanity (“Maybe it’s all in my head?”).
- Questioning their own behaviors (“Maybe I am too angry or controlling?”)
- Questioning their negative perception of the perpetrator (“Maybe it’s not as bad as I imagined?”)
- Rationalizing their perpetrator’s poor behavior (“His/her parents were terrible. He/she can’t help how they turned out.”).
- Fear of provoking or upsetting the pathological person.
- Misplaced anger.
- Lack of concentration.
- Feeling like they’re “in a fog”.
- Loss of interest in interacting with others.
- Anxiety attacks.
- Insomnia and depression – can’t fall asleep but can’t wake up, either.
- Loss of appetite.
- Sudden fits of crying.
- Guilt for not making the relationship work or for leaving the pathological person.
- Promiscuity or quick pursuit of a new relationship (fear of being alone).
- Isolation, mistrust, and extreme fear of intimate relationships.
And the list goes on.
The upsetting thing is that several of these victims are being wrongly diagnosed with bi-polar disorder or schizophrenia. I’m a psychology student so I can attest that many of our textbooks rarely cover abuse. Psychologists need to start being trained on abuse and its symptoms. It’s scary to think about how many people have been misdiagnosed because of this.
If you’re questioning whether you’re a bad person, then you’re not a narcissist/sociopath… and you’re likely not a bad person, either. Sociopaths have no conscience and, therefore, they don’t need to question if they’re “bad” because they don’t care. The world is their theater. They might act like they care to all that watch them, but their actions won’t match their words.
ALWAYS PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO THEIR ACTIONS, NOT THEIR WORDS.
A sociopath’s words are like a hypnotic drug. Five years down the road, you’ll have yourself wondering how you could have fallen for such a blatant or absurd lie. They’re experts at deceit.
If your gut is telling you something isn’t quite right, listen to it. Don’t make excuses or think you’re just being paranoid. Our instincts are primal. They were given to us for a reason. We’ve survived as a species because of them. Use them!
Are you still feeling sorry for that sociopath in your life? These are some of the heartless things the N/S people in my life have said about the men or women they used (they love bragging about their conquests, entitlement, and “superiority”):
- “She’s a bunny-boiler. She sent letters to my family saying I cheated on her and that’s why the wedding was canceled so I showed them some pictures I took of her when she was passed out. Now they all think she’s nuts.” (P.S. he did cheat)
- “She said she kept having dreams I was cheating on her so I told her she was my soul-mate. I can’t believe that worked.” (P.S. another cheater)
- “She’s really insecure about ____ so when she pisses me off, I tease her about it so she’ll shut up.”
- “If you look close in the mirror, you can see her naked in the background. I put it up on Facebook and blocked her from the album so she doesn’t even know it’s posted.”
- “Yeah, out of all of my bangs, she was my favorite. She had no self-respect so I could do whatever I wanted to her. Crazy sex. She’s so pathetic.”
- “I framed her by sticking drugs in her purse and then calling the police.”
- “I don’t think there is such thing as love. I just married his fat-ass because his family has money.”
- “I don’t want to lose everything in a divorce but I think a woman needs an affair to feel alive.”
- “I called her a c*** and she started crying. It was hilarious.”
- “We still have sex when her husband’s gone. Sometimes I’ll even wear her husband’s robe and rub my d*** on it – like marking my territory, ha ha!”
- “She’s an idiot. I keep cheating on her and she keeps taking me back. And she wonders why I don’t love her?!” (comment made directly in front of his wife)
- “Yeah, I don’t know what it is. All the women I date seem perfect in the beginning and then they become crazy.” (comment made by a friend diagnosed with ASPD/NPD)
- “Women are raised to serve men in their culture. They know how to treat a man the way he should be treated.” (after a confrontation about clapping his hands at his Chinese wife like a trained dog to fetch him butter)
I had five male roommates so I’ve personally witnessed guys cheat or use multiple girls and then turn them against each other. Some of my more unrefined roommates did it for sport:
They’d first talk about how mean or crazy their girlfriend was; how they bent over backwards and she still treated them like crap… or whatever sad story they could come up with that slightly smeared their partner in the process. Then the guy would share the blame in a very shallow way as to not seem too accusatory and look like he was the reasonable one:
“I take part of the blame, though. We just can’t communicate.”
“You’re so sexy and beautiful. I can’t help it. You just turn me on.”
“I feel like I’ve known you forever. You totally get me.”
“It’s amazing. I’ve never had so much in common with anyone else.”
“You’re not like any woman I’ve met before. You’re the total package.”
REEL ‘EM IN: Sex.
If the girl was a one-night stand, she’d be kicked out and then they’d brag about how easy she was.
If the girl was a long-term mistress, the cycle would repeat. They’d swear to leave their girlfriend “at the right time” or say they couldn’t right now because they didn’t want to hurt their girlfriend’s feelings… some excuse or another. They’d pit the two girls against each other. Call them both crazy behind their backs. Swear the other girl was the one who was lying. Then repeat the empathy, flattery, and sex cycle all over again.
Then laugh about it.
They’d brag to me and our buddies, but then act like Mr. Sensitive when other girls or their mutual friends were around.
Some of my male N/S “friends” even used me as their bait. They’d lead these girls to believe that we were more than roommates or friends, so when the girl would get jealous and start verbally attacking me, I was left wondering what the hell just happened. The sudden onslaught would only confirm his accusations of “See! I told you. She’s crazy!”.
Now I realize those girls were only “crazy” because they were being fed false stories to make them act “crazy”.
Sociopaths are sick people who relish in controlling and manipulating others.