Does He Love Me?
So, you’re feeling a bit shaky about your relationship, huh?
What’s going on in your boyfriend’s head anyway?
Going over this checklist could help you figure out if they’re the normal bumps in a relationship…
or possibly something else you’ve never even considered.
(the checklist refers to a “he” but applies to all genders and sexual orientations)
Remember when you first became romantically involved with your partner:
- Did you earn the title of “best friend” or “love of their life” in less than 3 months?
- Was he a fantastic listener?
- Did you find yourself doing most of the talking?
- Did you ever feel sympathetic towards what happened in his past?
- Did he have nearly all the traits you were looking for in a partner?
- Did you feel you’d found a soul-mate or like you were dating your mirror image?
- Did he constantly text, e-mail, or call all day long?
- Did he make unexpected appearances?
- Did he want to spend all of his free time with you in just a matter of weeks?
- Did he shower you with attention and/or gifts?
- Did he immediately charm the room or use his sense of humor to gain acceptance from your co-workers, friends, and family?
- Did something significant just happen in your life? (break-up, divorce, death)
If you answered “yes” to most of these and you’ve been dating for at least
3-6 months, continue reading:
- Do you catch your partner in lies, both small and big?
- Does he seem to have “no filter” or does he use sarcasm to mask his behavior?
- Are some of his excuses really strange?
- Does he make fun of others or play cruel pranks on people?
- If he has a long-time ex, is she often the topic of conversation – good or bad?
- Does he deny saying things that you’re fairly certain he’s said in the past?
- Do you feel like you’re carrying more than your share in your relationship?
- Is he often late (or even absent) for romantic dates or important events?
If you’re still reading this or you’ve been in this relationship for a while now:
- Are you becoming jealous of his female friends, even though you’re not sure why?
- Does he isolate you by saying things like ‘your male friends just want to have sex with you’?
- Does he talk about other women trying to seduce or flirt with him?
- Do you ever wonder if he’s lacking “common sense”?
- Does he seem only motivated to do things when it benefits him in some way?
- Do you feel the need to fix his life’s problems?
- Does he seem to be really hurting inside and you believe you can help him heal?
- Are you noticing he doesn’t have many long-term or close friends that live close by?
- Does he make snide remarks about your family members or friends?
- Does he have “no problem” taking money from you or others?
- Does he talk about getting revenge on certain people?
- Has he stalked anyone that you know of?
- Does he say hurtful things and then get upset when people are offended? Even turning the tables around and saying things like “God, can’t you take a joke?!”
- Does he encourage you to better yourself, only to make your life more difficult by not showing up on time or starting an argument when something important comes up?
- When you’re allowed to go out without him, do you feel guilty for some reason?
- Do you feel like he can be Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?
- After a bad argument, can he instantly go back to acting like nothing happened?
- Does he have financial problems or not honor his debts?
- Does he have any substance abuse issues?
- Does he give you the silent treatment or withhold love as punishment for confronting him?
- Do you feel euphoric when he’s back to being caring and considerate again?
- Do you, your family, or your friends say he acts like a child?
- Do you find yourself “covering for him” or apologizing to others for his behavior?
- Do you find yourself lecturing him on what he should be doing to better himself?
- Have you made ultimatums but are afraid to follow through with the consequences?
- Do you feel sorry for him, even when he’s at fault?
- Do you feel like you’re going crazy?
- Do you feel “addicted” to him?
- Do you have that gut feeling that something isn’t right?
If most of this reflects your relationship…
You, dear friend, are likely entangled in what’s called a Psychopathic or Traumatic Bond.